Identifying Your Supports: The First Step in Asking for What You Need
Life has a way of putting more on our shoulders than we can carry alone. Yet many high-functioning women—used to being capable, productive, and in control—struggle with even admitting they need support, let alone asking for it. The truth is, support is not weakness. It’s the foundation that allows us to stay steady when life feels overwhelming.
What Counts as Support?
When people hear the word “support,” they often think only of friends or family. But support is broader than that. It includes people, yes—but also resources, routines, and even environments that give us strength.
People: trusted friends, family, mentors, colleagues, therapists.
Professional networks: medical providers, support groups, coaches.
Personal anchors: journaling, meditation, exercise, faith practices.
Environments: a quiet space, a structured routine, a safe community.
Support can be as simple as a friend who listens without judgment, or as practical as a daily walk that clears your mind.
How to Recognize the Supports You Already Have
It’s easy to miss what’s already there. Taking inventory helps you see where you’re well resourced—and where there are gaps. Try asking yourself:
Who do I feel calm and safe around?
Who energizes me rather than draining me?
Who has shown up for me in the past?
What daily routines or practices already help me reset?
What environments (physical or digital) help me feel grounded?
Even small things matter. That colleague who always checks in on you, the playlist that lifts your mood, or the yoga class that helps you breathe more deeply—these are supports too.
Why This Matters Before Asking for Help
Identifying supports is the first step because it creates clarity. You can’t ask for what you need if you don’t know what (or who) actually strengthens you. When you know your supports, you can be intentional about where to turn. Instead of sending out vague calls for help, you can reach for the right resource at the right time.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t need to have it all figured out before moving to the next step. Simply recognizing who and what makes life feel more manageable is a powerful beginning. In Part 2 of this series, we’ll explore how to turn that awareness into positive requests—so you can actually ask for what you need in a way that others can respond to.
Read Part 2: Making Positive Requests