Once you’ve identified your supports, the next step is learning how to actually ask for what you need. Too often, requests get tangled up in frustration, hints, or vague language. Without clarity, the people who want to help you may not know how.
Think of the difference between these two statements:
“You never listen to me.”
“Could you put your phone down for ten minutes so I can share something important?”
The first is a complaint. The second is a clear, positive request. One invites defensiveness, the other invites connection.
Be specific. “I need you to be more supportive” is unclear. Try: “Would you sit with me while I call the doctor?”
Frame it as a request, not a demand. Using phrases like “Would you be willing…” leaves space for collaboration.
Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t. Example: “Please come on time so we can eat together,” instead of “Don’t be late again.”
Positive requests reduce confusion, prevent resentment, and actually make it easier for others to step in. Most people want to help, but they need guidance. By being direct, you give them the gift of knowing exactly what to do.
Positive requests aren’t about controlling others—they’re about opening the door for meaningful connection. In Part 3, we’ll look at the final step: how to manage the vulnerability that comes with asking.
Read Part 3: Navigating Vulnerability